Yesterday, my birthday

It...bothers me how easily disturbed I can be. I'm not afraid of heights. I can stand by a cliff face, or the edge of a tall building, and while I might be a bit more cautious than otherwise, I not afraid. But a bridge, or a spiral staircase, or a ladder, or absolutely anything to do with that large metal mesh stuff, and I'm terrified. Especially that mesh stuff. Bridges only really scare me if there's some height involved, but the mesh...even if there's only a couple feet drop, I'm still scared. Not as scared as over larger heights, and definitely more in control, but I'm still scared.

This comes up because, for my 19th birthday, we went up to Sandia Crest and it was lots of fun and pretty, and very very cool. And then we went down towards Placitas (and I saw a group of climbers and wondered if Caitlin was with them or if it was a different random group of climbers) and stopped at Sandia Cave. And I was fine until we got to the spiral, mesh staircase that went up 20 feet. And it absolutely drove me crazy to go up it. I did, I managed it; but it was so hard. And I just don't understand it, because not half-an-hour earlier, I stood on edge of Sandia Crest and looked down over the cliff-top, and all I felt was awe.

Sometimes I think that I just have some deep weird mistrust of anything manmade. Really, it is a very odd fear, because it has no explanation. I was never hurt on a bridge, or on those horrible metal mesh things...but I'm still...

Right, I'm going to stop talking about this now.

So far, it has been a wonderful birthday. My family is here, and we went to the Flying Star for breakfast and opened presents, and then Mom and Dad and I went up to Sandia Peak.

We went to the Bangkok Cafe for dinner. And then watched a stupid comedy movie for David. Because he was very nice about eating Thai food.

And Good Omens is being made into a screenplay. My day is complete.